Kung Fu
Sonic For Hire: Kung Fu is the fourth episode of the seventh season of the Sonic For Hire series and is the eighty-second episode overall. In this episode, Sonic and Tails go to Kung Fu Master to meditate and run into Kirby. Plot The guys are once again at Sonic's pad. Suddenly, a cat jumps up from behind the couch and scratches Eggman, who tells Sonic to get his cat under control. Sonic begins to call for the cat, but then realizes that he doesn't even own a cat in the first place. Tails mentions that this is the second time this has happened now. First, that elevator shaft in Elevator Action filling up with bricks, and now, the random appearance of a random cat. All this leads Tails to conclude that some unseen force is fucking with the guys. Sonic laughs at Tails and his conspiracy theories, until Jim mentions that it was weird how the elevator shaft filled with bricks. Sonic produces one of said bricks and nails Jim in the head with it, Eggman wanting one next. Tails mentions that they should still keep an eye out for clues, so they can try to find the source of whatever's causing this. Sonic sarcastically calls Tails "Daphne", and then mentions that to figure out this mystery, they're going to need to clear their minds with some good old fashioned meditation, and he happens to know just the place. Eggman interrupts to ask what "Daphne" is from, bamboozled from the number of references Sonic and Tails make. Sonic lobs another brick at him and mentions that "Daphne" comes from Scooby-Doo. Sonic and Tails arrive in the zen-looking game Kung-Fu Master. Sonic somewhat feels bad about throwing bricks about Jim and Eggman. Tails is left concerned about them as well, since Sonic may have killed them and didn't even check to see if they were still breathing. Upon noticing the duo, the game's hero, Thomas, rudely asks what they want. Sonic tells "Daniel-san" that he and his fox friend are looking for some Shaolin Monks so they can meditate the fuck out of themselves. Thomas instead mocks them, and yells at them to leave, unless they want their asses kicked. Tails becomes frustrated about video game stars today being self centered dick holes. Sonic reminds him that they did come to this game to meditate, and suggests letting it go. Tails, seeing this as wildly profound of Sonic, agrees to take the high road with him. Both take a deep, cleansing breath.... and then begin yelling their brains out at Thomas. The yelling is quelled by, of all people, Kirby! The twosome are surprised to see him, and that he's not shaped like a dildo and lost his hair. Kirby mentions that he's in this game since he was thrown out of Hollywood. Sonic assumes that it was because of his theater explosion stunt in season 4, apologizing for it. Kirby denies that that was the reason, mentioning that the guys in Hollywood were actually cool with it. It was actually because of Sonic and Tails' old movie, Tails and Sonic: Two Bad Characters, ''becoming an enormous flop, that the big wigs threw Kirby out on his ass. As such, the pink puffball decided to relocate in ''Kung-Fu Master to live a new life of peace and tranquility. Tails is not willing to believe that Kirby has found peace amongst the assholes who inhabit this game, while Kirby mentions that they are not so bad. Thomas comes over to Kirby, and rudely asks him to make him a sandwich after he rescues and bangs his girlfriend Sylvia. Kirby blindly agrees, while Sonic tries to tempt him into committing just one murder. Kirby is hesitant about wanting to go back to the way he used to be, mentioning that he really has found peace here. With Thomas' yelling fueling the flames, Kirby agrees to just one murder, then going right back to peace. Screams and splashes of blood occur off-screen, and it is soon revealed that Thomas and the goons he was fighting are splattered throughout the room. Sonic and Tails are in awe, while Kirby feels better than he has ever been. Since he has forgotten how much he loved being a killing machine, he thanks Sonic and heads back to Dream Land to do it some more. Tails makes the obvious statement of how it wasn't really a good idea to turn Kirby back into a killer, but notices that Sonic has moved on. Sonic is revealed to have rescued Sylvia himself, and is making out with her. Suddenly, Sylvia morphs into a variety of grotesque characters, in the order of: a shady bald man in a wifebeater, a phallic purple ghost creature, an enormous goblin head, a whiskery man in a cat suit, and Mother Brain. The last of these forms sends Sonic running, and thoroughly convinced that he and the guys are being fucked with a little. Character Appearances *Sonic the Hedgehog *Miles "Tails" Prower *Dr. Eggman *Earthworm Jim *Cat *Thomas (debut) *Kirby *Sylvia (debut) *Mother Brain Transcript To be added. Video To be uploaded. Trivia *Before his cameo in "The Creator" & his reappearance in Season 8, At the time, This is the only appearance of Kirby in Season 7 and his last appearance in the series. Category:Episodes Category:Season 7 Category:Character Introduction